It’s been five years.. and five songs.. since the last album.. that’s a bit crazy (for me anyway..)
Life has been full, full of everything… learning; a lot.. became a stepmum; to three! (by the way - why are stepmums not kind in fairytales and disney movies? it’s the most amazing gift and I feel so lucky to do life with these boys..) I love their dad; and they all have such beautiful qualities from him ♡
I’ve also been a bit scared to pick up the guitar, because my mum has been sick.. I don’t want to write music about it but I know myself; I can’t stop writing what I feel, so I’m just not writing these days… She wants to donate her body to science because what she has is very rare and she wants people to learn from it.. which is pretty cool, but it’s big; scary stuff.. Chemo did not work and radiation therapy did not work (it was very unlikely to work but she tried..) She is still here though.. she has far exceeded the expectations of all the doctors, after using medicinal mushrooms and adaptogenic herbs (my dad’s full-time obsession to help her, turned into something beautiful)
- But - I owe her a song.
10+ years ago, when Jed and I were recording ‘Live at York st’ there was a song on the list (mum’s favourite) that we sound-checked, but it somehow got lost that day and didn’t make it onto the album.. I wrote it at a time where life was drastically changing and I knew I was about to step into this great unknown torment... For me, it was inevitable; for mum it’s just so unfair.
She’s young.. she has been more like my sister (sometimes I’ve been the mum..) sometimes she’s like my second brain and I don’t know how to be without her.. she says she’s going to stay in my brain.
We laugh, a lot.. we make a lot of jokes, we talk about practical things; grateful for every moment we get and I’m doing my best not to unravel too much; didn’t think I’d be writing all of this here but it feels good to be honest.
Fear is my Friend; the sixth song comes out this Friday…
lyrics here below
xHera
Fear is my friend..
I need to know when it will kick in
I’m not prepared but let the hurting begin
I lay myself out, put my armour away
I’m still intact but my edges are frayed..
Bring it all on, baby unlock the gates
I know on the other side heartache awaits
Bearing the brunt of my own open mind
I know that my demons will never be kind
Tear me apart, strip to the bone
Burning away the loose ends
Shredding my soul, ripping new wounds
Oh, fear is my friend
The seconds are stretched out and time is no more
Suspended in silence, my gut on the floor
As I wait here for the oncoming sing
I know my intentions don’t mean a thing
Tear me apart, strip to the bone
Burning away the loose ends
Shredding my soul, ripping new wounds
Oh, fear is my friend
Fear is my friend
